My Thoughts on “The Rocky Horror Glee Show”

Three years ago I was visiting one of my friends and found myself at a party when the Time Warp started playing.  Many of the party-goers seemed to know all of the moves to the dance, but me and another friend were completely perplexed about what was happening.  As it turned out, we were at a marching band party, and the Time Warp is one of the songs the band plays regularly, but as a 20 year old movie fan, I had no clue what it was.

The problematic thing about Glee doing a Rocky Horror Picture Show episode is that Rocky Horror isn’t really as ubiquitously known as the movie's fans seem to think.  While episodes devoted to Madonna and Britney Spears make sense because those are two of the biggest stars of their generations, the majority of Glee’s target demographic probably hasn’t seen Rocky Horror, let alone know the movie/musical well enough to appreciate an entire episode of the show that is paying tribute to it.

Personally, I was barely aware of Rocky Horror Picture Show before I read The Perks of Being a Wallflower a couple summers ago (a book that includes a subplot about going to midnight showings of RHPS).  Intrigued by the midnight showings with high levels of audience participation, I went to one that summer.  It was bizarre, involved a lot of high school-aged kids running around in their underwear (and some older guys that were creepily there as well), and featured a plot that barely made any sense (which Sue Sylvester points out in the episode.  I was completely immersed in something that I did not understand at all.

I suppose that this is the basis of a Rocky Horror experience, and if this is what the Glee writers were trying to achieve, then I suppose they succeeded.  I believe that they failed miserably because the whole episode seemingly assumed that their viewers not only have a basic understanding of Rocky Horror, but have a great appreciation for the movie/musical. 

The Glee writers/producers seem to think that fans of the show (the Gleeks, I suppose) are this small group of outcasts similar to people that love Rocky Horror and regularly attend midnight screenings.  While I’m certain that every Rocky Horror fan has probably been watching Glee from the start, the audience of the show is SO MUCH LARGER.  This is a top 20 show on the TV!!  Behind Modern Family it is the second highest rated show (not including football) for the 18-49 demographic.  To make an episode that assumes the viewers are intimately familiar with a cult movie is almost insulting to the broad audience of the show.

I understand that the cast and crew probably had a great job filming this episode, but in the grand scheme of things it turns people off from the show.  I’m sure millions of fans like myself begrudgingly watched and then found themselves barely paying attention by the end (or flipping over to Celtics-Heat).  In the grand scheme of things, episodes like the Britney Spears episode earlier this year (or even using Empire State of Mind in the premiere) help to bring more people to the show, but having an episode that can really only be fully enjoyed by an incredibly small percentage of fans that happen to be a part of the Rocky Horror cult just doesn’t seem like a great idea to me and was a disservice to the show.

Quick Thoughts:

-As a whole, the episode did a pretty good job of limiting the number of storylines, and keeping characters unrelated to these storylines (Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Mike, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany) in the background of the episode.  Unlike some people, I like that the show is starting to do this to keep their episodes clearer and better organized.

-Will deciding to put on the musical to impress Emma was a satisfactory storyline, but I have mixed feelings about how they are dealing with their relationship.  Emma essentially giving Will a lap dance in the middle of the episode was ridiculous (even if it was parodying RHPS), and the final scene between the two where they talked about how they loved each other but needed to stay apart was completely unrealistic.  I understand how they want to keep these two characters apart for pacing reasons, but maybe it is time for Will to get a girlfriend so that he isn’t coming across as a complete asshole.

-I loved the John Stamos appearance.

-Finn and Sam being ashamed of their bodies is absurd.  These two are supposed to be football players and the “cool” kids, I think they’d be ok with walking around with their shirts off.

-Did the Barry Botswick and Meat Loaf cameo serve any purpose other than to reference Rocky Horror?  I don’t think so.

-I suppose it was nice how at the end of the episode Schuester acknowledges that Rocky Horror night showings are for the people that are outcasts (like they continue to describe the Glee club as), but this also highlighted how mainstream audiences wouldn’t really appreciate the episode.

Songs:

All the songs in this episode were pretty much satisfactory, considering that I’m not really familiar with any of them.  Because they were pretty much covering songs from a musical, they didn’t do much in the way of reimagining the music, but it was well done for what they were doing.

Read my review of episodes 3 and 4 Here

The 696 Power Rankings: Week 8

Another week led to another major shakeup in the power rankings, and a tie between the top two teams.  I’m sure this week will bring even more madness in the race for the Championship, and this is why I love college football. 

T-1) Oregon (7-0, 38)

The Ducks haven’t really been involved in a super-close game all season, and they really haven’t had a major road test yet.  Their trip to the Coliseum could prove to be both of these things as they take on a down, but still powerful USC team.  I predict a Trojans victory if only because it will create more chaos in the Power Rankings.

T-1) Auburn (8-0, 38)

Les Miles ill-fated 4^th down disaster towards the end of the game led Auburn to another close victory and co-ownership of the top spot in these rankings. On paper, the Tigers look to have an easy month of games before their Iron Bowl matchup in Tuscaloosa, but their penchant for close SEC games means anything could happen.

3)       Michigan State (8-0, 36)

It’s really tough for me to swallow the fact that MSU still has not lost a game.  It looked like they were going to fall to Northwestern in what was their FIRST GAME OUTSIDE THE STATE OF MICHIGAN, but they came through with another risky play at the end.  Iowa might have the last best chance at defeating the Spartans this weekend, and hopefully they will (because I wouldn’t want to have to root for Purdue or Penn State at the end of the season).

4)       Boise State (6-0, 35)

Four of the Broncos next five games are not on Saturday.  I’m not quite sure what this means, but I don’t think that tonight’s contest on ESPN2 is really the best way to nationally showcase themselves.  In any event, I think we’re obligated to rank them pretty high as long as they keep crushing the opposition.  Would they have the same results in another conference, probably not, but I think they’ve earned a high ranking.

5)       Missouri (7-0, 33)

Despite the fact that Hogan fell asleep and I started switching over to the Giants-Phillies game, we were both very impressed by Missouri’s win against Oklahoma.  Do I think that the Tigers will follow it up with a win at Nebraska this weekend?  Not at all, but for one week the Tigers have earned their place in the top five.

 6)       TCU (8-0, 29)

Playing usually respectable teams BYU and Air Force the past two weeks, the Horned Frogs continued their dominance by only allowing a total of ten points.  Just like Boise, they have been thoroughly taking down opponents left and right, but probably don’t have a chance at the title.

7)       Alabama (7-1, 28)

The first one-loss team to appear in these power rankings is also a team that I still believe will have a chance to defend their title come January.  They have an off week before a trip to Baton Rouge followed by a game against power rankings newcomer Mississippi State, and I really can’t imagine that any team in the country faces a more ridiculous schedule than the Tide.

8)       Utah (8-0, 27)

The Ute’s begin their three-week season-defining gauntlet against Air Force, TCU, and Notre Dame this weekend with nobody really expecting them to make it through unbeaten.  I haven’t really watched this team yet and have no idea what they’ll do either, but I’ll let you know more in a few weeks.

9)       Wisconsin (7-1, 24)

The Badgers escaped from Iowa with a win and are now delusionally thinking they have a chance to compete for the championship.  They might very well finish 11-1, and they might very well go to the Rose Bowl, but there’s no chance they play for the title.  Sorry.

10)   Oklahoma (6-1, 21)

The Sooners didn’t drop too far after their loss to Missouri based on our respect for some of their early season wins.  I don’t really like this team as a championship contender, but I still think they are the favorites to win the final Big 12 Championship.  Although a trip to suddenly strong Baylor is looming in a few weeks.

T-11) Florida State (6-1, 19)

Jimbo Fisher has his team poised for an ACC Championship game appearance, which might not mean much in this watered-down conference, but is a huge improvement over Bobby Bowden’s final seasons.

T-11) Stanford (6-1, 19)

I feel like a team this strong should have beaten the Cougars of Wazzou by more than ten points.

13)   Ohio State (7-1, 17)

I’m just glad that no arguments for #1 can be made for the Buckeyes this season. 

14)   Arizona (6-1, 14)

The Wildcats have some tough road tests coming up (UCLA, Stanford, Oregon) and home dates with the Trojans and the Sun Devils.  This could end really poorly for them. 

15)   LSU (7-1, 11)

The fighting Les Miles’s couldn’t pull another rabbit out of their hat against Auburn and now have a week to screw around (because does anybody think Miles does actual coaching?) before playing Alabama.  Good luck with that.

16)   Nebraska (6-1, 9)

After exposing Oklahoma State (or winning a close game on the road) the Huskers now have a date with last week’s team of destiny as Missouri tries to retain their national stature on the road.  I’m picking Nebraska.

17)   Arkansas (5-2, 8)

T-18) South Carolina (5-2, 4)

T-18) Mississippi State (6-2, 4)

Because two-loss SEC teams are what the bottom of the power rankings are all about.

T-18) Oklahoma State (6-1, 4)

Because getting exposed by Nebraska means they remain in the power rankings.  Or, we ran out of teams worth ranking.  Either way, the Cowboys still have 3-4 losses remaining on their schedule.

Glee Reviews: Episodes 2.03 and 2.04

So who knows if I’ll actually be able to keep reviewing Glee as the season continues, but since there’s no new episode tonight and since I kind of enjoy writing about it, here are some of my brief thoughts about the past two episodes.

“Grilled Cheesus”

While as a rule of thumb Glee should probably not be having topical episodes that deal with things like religion, I actually ended up liking this episode a lot.  As I’ve written in previous weeks, the thing that annoys me about the show is when they try to shoehorn a bunch of different disparate storylines into episodes that really have no connection to each other (see below), but this episode did a great job of looking at one main storyline (Kurt’s dad going to the hospital), and having one primary secondary storyline (Finn examining his religion), and making everything else in the episode service these two storylines.

Because of the simple and straightforward nature of the two plotlines, I thought this episode is a great example of what Glee can be.  It also helped a lot that Kurt is the most strongly-written character on the show and the relationship that he has with his father is far and away the most developed that the show has to offer.  Overall, a great job with this episode.

Other Quick Thoughts:

-Strangely, I found myself laughing at some of Brittney’s jokes in this episode (as well as the episode that came the following week).  I don’t know if she is growing on me, but I guess I’m starting to accept the fact that everybody else that watches the show loves her one-liners and that they are probably supposed to sound as uninspired as she delivers them.

-Finn’s prayers throughout the episode were a little bit ridiculous.  All of the characters are talking about Kurt’s dad and Finn is praying to win football games and touch Rachel’s boobs?  It made no sense. 

-I kind of felt like Emma Pillsbury was shoehorned into this episode.  There was really no reason to have her go to the hospital with Kurt and Schu and there was even less of a reason to have Finn talk to her about touching Rachel’s boobs.  Unlike Jane Lynch (who is hilarious), there is really no reason to push Jayma Mays into episodes if she doesn’t have an impact on the storylines.

-When did Rachel become so religious and conservative?  Wasn’t she throwing herself at guys last season?

Sue Sylvester Quote of the Episode:

 “This country is not a monarchy William, trust me, I’ve tried”

Songs:

-Only the Good Die Young: Puck does a really good job with this song (as Schu was nodding in agreement) and it was great to hear them cover it.  While I feel like they could have done a little better of a job making the arrangement their own, it was good for what it was.  

-I Look to You: Mercedes does a really nice with this song and I really liked how it was informed by the plot of the episode (something that is ALWAYS a plus).

-Papa, Can You Hear Me: This was awful.  For an episode that was already serious in nature, this song took itself way too seriously and was incredibly boring.

-I Want to Hold Your Hand: Kurt did an awesome job with this song and I really loved that it was different from the most well known rendition of the song.  It was incredibly informed by the plot (almost do the point where I think parts of the plot were built around it, which is fine by me), and the flashbacks that happened during it were fantastic.

-Losing My Religion: Ehh.  This song did a great job of showing off Cory Montieth’s incredibly mediocre vocal prowess.

               

-Bridge Over Troubled Water: Although I would have preferred this to be sung by the Glee Club, I thought Mercedes did a really good job with it.  I also thought it was a pretty unique rendition of the song and was very appropriate for the themes and storylines of the episode.

-One of Us: Another excellent song for the episode.  It fit well with the theme (even if it might have been a little bit too religious), and was a great use of the entire cast.

Best Quotes from another Character:

“I’m not the most religious guy, I kind of worship Eric Clapton and Ochocinco.” –Finn

 “I don’t believe in God, I feel like it’s Santa Claus for adults.” -Kurt

“Duets”

If the third episode of this season was an example of what Glee can do when it’s at its best, the fourth episode was an example of what the show does when it’s at its worst.  “Duets” was all over the map with different storylines and characters moving in and out with no discernable overall plot and theme.  Scenes were pretty much randomly strung together in a haphazard fashion that made almost no sense overall.  Because of this, I’ll focus on bullet points:

-They breeze past it pretty quickly, but explaining Puck’s absence by saying that he tried to pull an ATM machine out of a convenience store with his truck is THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING THIS SHOW HAS DONE.  Puck might not be a model citizen, but he’s neither capable of doing something that big nor evil enough to do something that stupid.  If they wanted to have Puck be gone for a few episodes, there are a million more realistic ways they could have written him out.  They’ve spent the series trying to show how Puck is actually a good guy inside his rough exterior but this turn of events is most troubling because it shows that the writer’s have almost no conception or care for Puck as one of their characters, which is sad.

-I know I overuse hyperbole, but Brittney using the term “scissoring” is probably the most shocking thing I’ve seen in a television show since that Breaking Bad episode with the ATM machine (and I probably only made the reference because of the Puck ATM machine stuff). 

-Speaking of Brittney and Santana, I think it’s kind of interesting that they are in some sort of relationship.  It would actually be a neat storyline to see their home lives since they are clearly emotionally neglected by their parents.  Sure they might be really good friends, but it’s already been established that they hook up with everybody at the school.  They clearly just need attention from anybody, including each other.

-So Artie and Brittney really had sex?  I mean, they’ve gone to great lengths to say that it is possible, but was that necessary?

-I have no idea what was going on between Quinn and Sam.  Maybe she’s trying to play him hot and cold or something, but their scenes came across as poorly written voids where effects had no cause and vice versa.

-As always there was an awesome scene between Kurt and his dad.  The scenes between them are so exceptionally well-written that it makes me upset that the rest of the show can’t be as great.  It’s almost as if Ryan Murphy is channeling so much of his own past into those scenes that he neglects to do a good job with the other stuff (specifically Finn).

-I didn’t understand why Rachel felt the need to do a duet with Kurt at the end of the episode.  Had they had any encounters together earlier in the episode?  Why did she need to reconcile with him?  Where was this coming from?

Sue Sylvester Quote of the Episode:

Not Applicable, and this is a problem.

Songs:

-Don’t Go Breaking My Heart: This was a pretty good song considering it was the tried and true combination of Finn and Rachel.  Highlights included Finn playing the drums (yet again) and Rachel messing around with the piano player’s hair.

               

-River Deep—Mountain High: It was an ok song, but not really a memorable performance from Santana and Mercedes.

-Le Jazz Hot: I was incredibly confused about what was going on during Kurt’s song.

-Sing!: Surprisingly, I found Mike and Tina’s song pretty entertaining.  The choreography was definitely well done, and it was a really good way to showcase Mike in a song.  Since I wasn’t as familiar with the song, I don’t know how different their rendition was from the original, but I liked it.

-With you I’m Born Again: I’m not sure why they needed to have two Finn/Rachel songs in this episode, but this was clearly supposed to be weird and laughable.

-Lucky: I also enjoyed this song that Quinn and Sam sang.  While I was confused about their relationship throughout the episode, I think that that the song was great for them.

-“Happy Days Are Here Again”/”Get Happy”: I didn’t really understand why Rachel and Kurt needed to sing a song together at the end of the episode, as I said before, and this particular song didn’t really do much for me.

Best Quotes from another Character:

“That’s a nice break from all that scissoring.” –Santana

Read my review of the previous week’s “Britney’Brittany” Here

The 696 Power Rankings: Week #7

After two crazy weeks in college football, our power rankings have been turned upside down and inside out and I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of the madness (this is why I LOVE college football).  So here are this week’s power rankings, with comments written by me.

1)       Oregon (6-0, 40)

Even though they had an off week, Oregon ascended to the top of our power rankings on the strength of their utter dominance in the weeks before.  Now that we’re in the thick of conference schedules, a lot of our rankings will be based on how strong we perceive the conferences to be, and the PAC-10 is definitely up this year.  We’ll see if the Ducks can make it through unbeaten, but for now they are #1.

2)       Oklahoma (6-0, 37)

Depending on how you look at it, this week’s game at Missouri could be a big win for the Sooners or the reality-defining loss for the Tigers (assuming that OU beats Missouri).  Whatever the case, Oklahoma might have the most impressive body of work thus far, even if they haven’t beaten their opponents in the impressive ways that the Ducks have.


T-3) Boise State (6-0, 35)

The Broncos rank in every poll is going to be heavily scrutinized for the rest of this season.  People are going to say that the WAC is weak while others are going to point to how thoroughly Boise State is demolishing their opponents.  When push comes to shove, there is really nothing more the team could be doing to prove that they are one of the nation’s elite, as they haven’t lost a game in years.


T-3) Auburn (6-0, 35)

With Cameron Newton taking on the role of this week’s Heisman Favorite, the Tigers of Auburn have (for now) emerged as the class of the SEC.  I don’t know if they’ll stand tall under pressure, but they could very well enter the Iron Bowl with an 11-0 record at the end of November.

5)       TCU (7-0, 30)

The other non-auto contender, the Horned Frogs have been impressively taking care of opponents all season.  While their championship chances are diminished just by the presence of Boise State, they could definitely be a factor as the season gets crazier and crazier.

6)       Michigan State (7-0, 29)

Are the Spartans really the Big Ten favorite?  Yuk.

7)       Alabama (6-1, 28)

I have a feeling that the Tide will be looming within these Power Rankings for awhile.  Their one loss definitely hurt, but I still feel like a one-loss SEC champion will play for the title, and with the Iron Bowl in Tuscaloosa, Alabama has the best chance.  It is troubling, however, that almost all of their SEC opponents have an off week before playing them, but it’s just something they have to live with.


T-8) LSU (7-0, 25)

Hogan and I clearly have a lot less respect for Les Miles’ team than most polls and rankings do.  There’s just no way I can elevate them too high after seeing them almost blow several games at the end.  If they keep winning we’ll have to move them up, but I just can’t see them continuing to win.


T-8) Utah (6-0, 25)

The other-other non-auto contender has the most difficult path due to their trip to South Bend next month.  Not to say that the Irish will be favored or anything in this game, but I’d love to see Brian Kelly knock off a top-ten team this year.


T-8) Stanford (5-1, 25)

According to our Power Rankings this week, Notre Dame has lost to two top ten teams.  In practice, the Cardinal’s only loss is on the road against the number one team in the country (and they also clobbered a team that took the #6 Spartans to OT in East Lansing, but that’s beside the point).  Stanford is good, but they no longer control their own PAC-10 destiny.

11)   Florida State (6-1, 19)
I did not expect the Seminoles to jump up this high in the rankings so quickly, but with other teams losing and their only loss to a strong Sooners team, they deserve to be here.  Their problem, however, is that in an abysmally weak ACC, they really won’t have any chances to prove themselves against quality opponents.

12)   Wisconsin (6-1, 17)
I criticize the Badgers a lot, but they really did look great against Ohio State.  While their students did have one of the worst field rushes I have ever seen, they have finally proven to me that they are one of the better teams in the nation.  Now they have to go out and beat the Hawkeyes in Iowa (definitely a daunting task).


T-13) Missouri (6-0, 15)

So the Tigers are undefeated, which is nice, but any team who’s best win is against Illinois has some work to do.  Luckily for Missouri, they have Oklahoma and Nebraska the next few weeks.  In the unlikely event that they win both those games, they’ll definitely skyrocket through these rankings.  I’m doubtful though.


T-13) Oklahoma State (6-0, 15)

Like the Tigers, the Cowboys have beaten a lot of mediocre bad teams this season, and being undefeated really doesn’t mean much at this point.  Also like the Tigers, they play two nationally ranked teams the next two weeks with Nebraska and Kansas State.  In the unlikely event that they win both those games, they’ll definitely skyrocket through these rankings.  I’m doubtful though.


15)   Ohio State (6-1, 14)

This is what they get for losing their first meaningful game of the season.  Even worse for the Buckeyes is that they don’t play Michigan State this year and will need a lot of help to make it back to the BCS.  I think the nation can breathe a sigh of relief, however, knowing that the Buckeyes will not lose spectacularly in the National Championship game.


16)   Arizona (5-1, 8)
Reappearing in these rankings are the Wildcats, a team that actually controls their PAC-10 destiny.  While they aren’t really a national contender, they will have the opportunity to play spoiler to both Stanford and Oregon as both teams must make trips to Tucson.
17)   West Virginia (5-1, 7)
The Mountaineers are definitely the class of the Big East right now, maybe that’ll change and maybe it won’t.


18)   Iowa (5-1, 6)
I bet our friend Dip loves the fact that he finally got season tickets to the Hawkeyes as Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Ohio State will all be coming to Iowa City over the next five weeks in a series of games that will determine which of the four teams wins the Big Ten.  To say that Iowa has the advantage in the Big Ten right now would be an understatement.  If they can defend their field, they could enter the national conversation (especially if Arizona defends their own field).


19)   Nebraska (5-1, 5)

This is all Hogan here.  I’m of the opinion that Nebraska just botched the best chance to prove how powerful they are, and I actually ranked Texas ahead of them in my rankings.  While the Huskers will have their chances in the next couple weeks, they have no shot at the National Championship.


20)   Arkansas (4-2, 2)
Only losing to Alabama and Auburn caused me to rank the Razorbacks as my most powerful two-loss team in the country.  Sure their wins weren’t that strong, but their losses were close and ugly to some really powerful teams, and I think that’s what these rankings are all about.

Irish Blogger Gathering

My friends over at We Never Graduate are hosting the Irish Blogger Gathering this week and I decided to throw together my responses to their questions at the midpoint of this football season.  So here it goes:

1. The Irish have posted back-to-back victories over teams that have given us fits the past decade to pull back to .500, but when you head to the message boards on ND Nation, Rivals, etc. all you see is unrelenting negativity. Some cry Kelly's in over his head and doomed to fail, others bitch and moan about the run-to-pass ratio, and many more say that even though we've won the last two there's no improvement over last year's team. What's your take on the negativity that's swirling around the program on the internet? What message would you like to convey to ND Nation?

Honestly, I stopped reading the message boards soon after I wrote this column.  They were a good way to stay connected to the team while I was abroad, but now that I can text and tweet and actually watch games at regular times with more than one Irish fan I don’t feel like I gain much from reading the constant negativity on the boards.  Aside from mainstream media like ESPN, SI.com, and the occasional newspaper; I really get my Irish analysis from wenevergraduate.com.  Seriously.

I think the message that should be conveyed to the people in negative-town is that despite the 3-3 record and inconsistency we have seen on both sides of the ball, our three losses have come against teams that are a combined 16-2 (with their only losses being against the #2 team in the nation and one of the others).  As much as it pains me to write this, MSU could very well WIN the Big Ten, Denard Robinson IS the Heisman favorite, and Stanford could very well end up playing in a BCS game.  Our teams the past three years were losing games against much more inferior opposition, so this is clearly an improvement even if it doesn’t always look like one on the field.

Also, it’s essential to remember that this is YEAR ONE (and hopefully a better Year One than that movie with Jack Black and Michael Cera).  In theory, this should be a transition year.  We were never going to win the national championship this year, and we are still in a great position to end up going to a quality bowl game.  I think it’s highly likely we end the year 4-2 or 5-1, and that would be our best season since 2006.

2. When Western Michigan and Tulsa were announced as 2010 opponents last fall there was a full-throttle meltdown among ND fans that was surpassed only by The F-Word Incident in April in terms of sheer outrage. Well, if the opinions expressed then are the same now the apocalypse has finally arrived and a MAC squad is about to forever sully our field by stepping foot on it. Have your thoughts on the Western Michigan/Tulsa games changed since they were announced? Would you rather ND Stadium sell out and continue the streak that extends back almost 40 years or see the streak broken so that the powers-that-be know just how disrespected you feel by the audacity they showed in scheduling such inferior opponents?

It’s my understanding that the University is going to be bussing in kids from poor schools and giving them tickets to the game just so that the streak remains intact, so I don’t think that is a problem.  My biggest problem about these two games is that there are two of them and they are back to back.  Originally it was supposed to be TCU instead of Western Michigan (but there were communication problems when Swarbrick took over).  I really don’t think anybody would be offended by the Tulsa game if we were playing TCU this week.

From a long term perspective, I think that mistakes were clearly made and Swarbrick had to scramble to find an opponent.  Is this game embarrassing?  YES, but looking at future schedules makes me confident that the current powers-that-be never intended for this to happen and have fixed the problem for future seasons.

3. Most people painted AD Jack Swarbrick as the villain when the Western Michigan/Tulsa games were made public. Since then he's made drastic moves in locking down opponents on future schedules, went through the process of firing Weis and hiring Kelly, and navigated ND through the murky waters of conference realignment. Has your personal opinion on Swarbrick been altered over the past year?

On the Friday before the Purdue game, after signing books in the bookstore, I was still feeling miserable from the previous night (any time you end up at The Backer on a Thursday, you’ve gone off the deep end).  Needing to get some food I decided on Sbarro and since it was a beautiful day I decided to eat outside.  Naturally, I realized that I should eat my pizza in the one location I could never eat it when I was a student: at the top of the steps of the main building.

As I sat up there eating my Sbarro and drinking a Gatorade roughly 20 minutes before 40s at 4:00, I saw Jack Swarbrick walking across the quad.  I considered hollering something at him, but decided I was too old for that.  Then he came walking towards the building and starting walking right up the steps towards me.  As he walked past I said, “Love what you’re doing with future schedules.”  He responded, “I love what you’re doing with your lunch.”

In years past, I have definitely been critical of Swarbrick, but his work putting together future schedules leaves nothing to be desired.  Series against Miami, Oklahoma, Texas, as well as some compelling neutral site games and the continuation of the Boston College series are all things to be excited about.  I can’t complain much at all about what Swarbrick has done over the past year, and this makes me very confident moving forward.

4. We're at the halfway point so it's a perfect time to step back real quick and evaluate what's happened thus far. What have been your two biggest surprises at this juncture of the season? Choose one positive and one negative.

Positive: I think Theo Riddick has looked amazing at times.  He’s a former running back that looks awesome after the catch.  I don’t know too much about analyzing games, but I’m hopeful he could develop into another Golden Tate.

Negative: We could definitely point to a lot of defensive problems, but I’ll stay at the receiver position and say Michael Floyd.  His stats don’t look terrible overall, but I feel like he has been dropping the ball or fumbling the ball quite a bit and has almost regressed from his greatness of previous years. 

5. Which player that hasn't contributed much to this point in the season do you see emerging as a contributor down the stretch?

Tyler Eifert MUST be a big contributor now that Kyle Rudolph is out for the season. 

6. Scholarships are running thin and some tough decisions are going to have to be made this spring when it comes to offering 5th years to current seniors. If you're Coach Kelly who do you offer and who is left out in the cold to make room for the incoming freshman class? Here's a link to the 2011 scholarship chart for a list of potential 5th years.

This is why I’m not a sportswriter.  I’ll take a pass and move on to #7.

7. *****BONUS***** You've been challenged to a Tailgate Olympiad by some chaunce from Southern Cal and you need to assemble a dream team of your fellow Irish fans to compete in the following events:

* Full Beer Flip Cup: Hogan, Panzer, Brad, Spicy

Full Beer Flip Cup is more about being able to drink quickly than it is about being able to flip the cup, and these four make up a dream team in that department while not taking much away from the other events.  I’ll use my swimming background to set the order as Hogan should give the team an early lead and Spice can will his way back from most deficits as the anchor.

* Hamburger Eating Contest: Dip and Carne

As long as this is Classic-sized Dip and not the sweatsuit wearing Dip that made a brief appearance in the spring of 2006.  I also want Dip to be wearing his “I Beat Anorexia” t-shirt during the proceedings.

* Beer Pong: Sharky and Sanders (alternate Heart)

Pretty much the only times I’ve ever looked like a serviceable beer pong player were when Sharky was standing next to me.  Sanders is arguably the Most Valuable 4A Alum when it comes to beer pong.  This team would be unstoppable, and I don’t need Dip to bust out the old section rankings to prove it.

* Cornhole/Bags/Whatever You Call It: Carl and C-Loss

The L-15 Connection.  Honestly, we never really played this game at our tailgates, but I think these two would make a formidable team.

* Individual Case Race: Stonewall

Because I think drinking an individual case is like a Wednesday night for him.

* Thunderdome (one shotgun per minute until someone can't answer the bell): Ringer

He can drink fast and long, and has a proven ability to pull the trigger between rounds if necessary.  If this is the marquee event, then we want our resident Irish Guard Alum closing it out.  I also believe he won the inaugural game of Thunderdome way back when.

The 696 Power Rankings: Week #6

Crazy week in the Power Rankings, and even crazier because this week's write-up was done by Hogan.  Because this is my blog, however, I'm adding a few comments of my own in italics.

1. Oregon (6-0, 39)

After a slow start, Chip Kelly and the Ducks of Eugene, Oregon put away my most hated team in college sports, the Washington State Cougars. Oregon is in solid position to play in the National Championship game if they can win out, but with the tougher half of the Pac-10 coming up in the schedule, I wouldn’t hold my breath. I would, however, pat Chip Kelly on the back for having the cojones to rock the visor.

T2. Oklahoma (5-0, 35) 

Fellow fan of the visor, Bob Stoops, had a bye this week.

T2. Boise State (6-0, 35)

Boise State throttled Toledo this week by more than 40 points. Bob has more faith in Boise State making a National Title game than I do.* This tied for #2 ranking is pretty much due to his faith in arguably the most pitiful conference to have ever existed… In the words of Whitney Houston, “Crack is WAC”.

*My Championship game prediction right now is Alabama vs. Oregon.  I just felt like we needed to drop Bama for the loss.  Maybe the WAC is pitiful, but we have more WAC teams in these power rankings than Big East or ACC teams. .  .

4. Ohio State (6-0, 34) 

The Buckeyes handled another cruddy Big-10 opponent this week, beating Indiana by 4 TD’s. Jim Tressel’s squad faces Wisconsin next week in what could be an exciting game, but I’m cynical and I think this could be Brett Bielema’s biggest disappointment since his break-up with Erin Andrews.

5. Nebraska (6-0, 33)

The Huskers had an impressive performance this week against K-State in Manhattan. Nebraska plays Mack “Booster in Episode One of Friday Night Lights” Brown in Corn Country next Saturday. Unfortunately for Nebraska, Texas is awful this year, so beating them at home won’t do much to catapult them in our rankings.

6. Auburn (6-0, 31)

Bob put Auburn at #4 after barely escaping Kentucky… KENTUCKY!!!! I put them in my top 10, but their performance this week didn’t quite inspire my confidence in their “power”.**

**It could be argued that Auburn's win over South Carolina gives them more power than any win by the four teams above them.  I'm just saying

7. TCU (6-0, 28)

Who cares

8. Alabama (5-1, 26)

Tough loss. Just another game in the SEC. Who wants to take bets that Bama will still end up in the National Championship game? Who wants to take bets Nick Saban will be coaching another SEC team next year?

T9. South Carolina (4-1, 21)

Click-Clack. Great win for Steve Spurrier.

T9. LSU (6-0, 21)

Les Miles stays unbeaten, defeating Florida by 4 points this week. You’d assume one of the two undefeated SEC teams would be in our top 5, but it looks like both Bob and I are holding last week’s abysmal win against Lesley.

T9. Michigan State (6-0, 21) 

In my opinion, Michigan State is now legit. They handled Michigan and Wisconsin in back-to-back weeks. With Iowa being the only ranked team the Spartans have left, things could get interesting.

12. Utah (6-0, 20) 

Utah took Iowa State and showed them who is boss. Sadly, it may be their best win thus far. FAIR WARNING: I WILL BE OVERRATING UTAH IN PREPARATION FOR THE UPCOMING ND-UTAH GAME THAT I WILL BE ATTENDING!

13. Stanford (5-1, 18)

ND better beat USC…

14. Arkansas (4-1, 16)

The Razorbacks barely beat A&M, who is mediocre at best. They were appropriately punished in Room 696.

15. Florida State (5-1, 12)

Impressive win for Jimbo Fischer. With Florida as the best game left on the schedule, Jimbo looks headed toward an excellent inaugural season.

16. Oklahoma State (5-0, 10)

Beat a respectable opponent, then you will be respected.

T17. Missouri (5-0, 7)

See Oklahoma State.

T17. Nevada (6-0, 7)

See Oklahoma State and Missouri.

T19. Air Force (5-1, 2)

20 point win of Colorado State. Air Force isn’t an amazing team, but I’m glad our Irish aren’t playing them this year.

T19. West Virginia (4-1, 2) 

After seeing the rest of West Virginia’s schedule as well as who they’ve played, I wish I wouldn’t have ranked them at all. They lost to their only respectable opponent, LSU… who Bob and I don’t respect THAT much.

The 696 Power Rankings: Week #5

I had been hoping to write comments for these rankings, but have been too busy driving (I'll probably review both this week and next week's episodes of Glee at the same time).  Since one of our ranked teams has already lost, I figure it would be best to just put them up sans comments. As has been the case this year, these rankings are from me and Hogan.

1)       Alabama (5-0, 40)

2)       Oregon (5-0, 38)

3)       Nebraska (5-0, 34)

T-4) Oklahoma (5-0, 33)

T-4) Ohio State (5-0, 33)

6)    Boise State (5-0, 32)

7)       TCU (5-0, 28)

8)       Auburn (4-1, 26)

9)       Arizona (4-0, 23)

T-10) MSU (5-0, 19)

T-10) Utah (4-0, 19)

12)   Michigan (5-0, 16)

13)   LSU (5-0, 14)

14)   Arkansas (3-1, 13)

15)   Stanford (4-1, 12)

16)   Nevada (5-0, 7)

T-17) Iowa (4-1, 6)

T-17) Northwestern (5-0, 6)

T-19) Florida (4-1, 5)

T-19) Kansas State (5-0, 5)